How to make yourself a Priority

Mom Life

Being a mom is not for the faint of heart. It’s tough. Hard work. It takes all of you, every part of you, every day. That’s not to say it isn’t amazing– because it is. It’s just not easy.

In the beginning, you’re trying to figure it all out. Things like how often to feed, how to soothe, what each different type of cry means. (Which I thought was a bunch of BS until I had a child and realized different cries are actually a thing). Life is a crazy, beautiful blur.

Before you know it, you’re 3 months in, then 6 months. You get to watch as your little one(s) learn to roll over, sit up, crawl, feed themselves, walk, talk, and each milestone leads to the next, and the next.

Then, one day, you wake up, and think “Hmm, I haven’t gone to yoga in a while.” Later on, you realize, “Wow, I haven’t seen (name) in months. I wonder what they’re up to?” Followed by “Wait, I can’t even remember the last book I read!”

Sound familiar?

Don’t worry, mama, you’re not alone. It’s inevitable, and it happens to all of us. You’re going along, rocking the mom thing, swept up and consumed by the little people you created that need you for everything all the time. The hours of your day are dedicated to your work, your small humans, and your husband. So who’s missing from this equation? YOU.

Listen, the baby and toddler years are a wonderful season of life, they really are, and they are to be savored. At times you’ll feel like you’re ready to pull out your hair, but later in life, you will always remember these times fondly. But it does come at a cost. Your identity is still there, but it shifts a bit. The transition into motherhood is all consuming. You put your needs and wants after everyone else’s. You understand the demands of others and can postpone your own, but the kids, the husband, the boss shouldn’t have to.

Mama – No. No, No, No.

I know this feeling all too well. Being overwhelmed by the day to day tasks, taking care of everyone else, putting yourself last, and losing yourself a little bit. This needs to stop. I’ve had a bit of a revelation lately. How am I ever going to better myself if I never invest in myself? If I give everything I have to my kids and husband and responsibilities, I’m depleting my tank. How am I refilling it? I’m not, and that’s the problem.

Your New # 1

It’s not OK to put yourself last. You may think that devoting all of your time and energy to your kids is the sign of a good mom, but let me tell you, it’s the sign of an exhausted one. Your kids need the best version of you, and how can you give them that if you’re not taking care of yourself? What was it that you liked to do before you had children? What kinds of things lit you up? Did you meditate daily? Have a weekly brunch with friends? Read a new book each month? You can still do these things mama. It may be in a slightly different way, but there IS a way to incorporate them back into your life and make them part of your new routine.

You need to make yourself a priority again. You need to shift your mindset and realize that you are the most important person you need to take care of. This is a hard realization for most mothers, but a necessary one. It’s not enough just to survive and get through the day, we want to grow, and challenge ourselves, and make the most of our time with our loved ones.

The Tribe

That’s why I wanted to create this community. A mom tribe, if you will. For all moms – experienced moms, new moms, soon-to-be moms, single moms, step-moms, and aspiring moms. A place for you to visit when you need a hug, a laugh, a boost of encouragement, somewhere to vent; a place to be seen. It’s going to be highly interactive. I want you to comment, share your opinion, and be a part of the group. There will be multiple social media channels available to access the community, and each will offer slightly different content so you can engage in the most ideal way for you.

I’m here to create a support system and do what I can to help mama’s change their outlook and make small steps toward a more fulfilled life. One where you get to be a mom AND your own woman.

I’ll share insight, tips, recipes, and ideas that will help make your day-to-day life easier, and shift your mindset to help you realize that you are your #1 priority. This will be a supportive, safe place to come for advice, guidance, or a shoulder to cry on. Polite constructive criticism is welcome, mom-shaming is not. There is enough of that everywhere else, and it isn’t welcome here.

Mom’s, I believe it is possible to have everything you desire. Maybe not all at the same time, but you CAN get the things out of life that you want, and I’m here to help us all do that.

Like I said in the beginning, we’re all in this together. We’ll get there, mama. With the right mindset, baby steps, and wine. Lots and lots of wine.

An essential part in prioritizing yourself is your self-care practice. Please check out my post on this topic titled, “Why self care is so important.”