Isn’t it crazy to think that your life is dictated solely by the way you think?? I talk a lot about the way we think. I like to focus on the mind and how our thoughts shape how we act, and ultimately our lives. With that in mind, I have a question for you – “Do you think you are beautiful?” Loaded question, right? It’s difficult to answer for a lot of people. Many of you may not even know why it’s such a hard question, or the effects of your answer. Let’s break it down.
How your view on being beautiful changes
First, can you think back to when you were little? Back to when you would look in the mirror, maybe while you were brushing your teeth, and you didn’t judge or criticize what you saw? That’s probably hard to remember, because for most of us, it was decades ago. I have a theory that explains the reason for this.
When we were little, we received a ton of positive messages from the people we interacted with most. Our parents and family were always encouraging us. Telling us how beautiful we were, how strong, and how smart we were.
As we got older, though, we started to get influences and messages from a ton of other outside sources that started to change the way we saw ourselves. It seems like the positive messages that were coming from those we loved were far outweighed by all of the other external sources.
Think about it – the commercials selling makeup, teeth whiteners, expensive clothes, magazines with supermodels on the cover, and hundreds of other things make us all take a second look at ourselves and we start to feel “less than.” Suddenly, the bar to be considered “beautiful” had been raised.
Instead of looking in the mirror and seeing all of the things we should love and appreciate, we only focus on the negatives. The things we would change, and the things we wish were different. I’m guilty of this, too. When I look in the mirror, I see large pores, a big nose, and dark circles under my eyes. If I’m being honest, those are the things I wish were different. It’s hard to look at myself in the mirror and NOT see those things.
Why is it so hard to realize we’re beautiful?
Recently, I was watching a video a friend of mine had put out on Facebook, talking about this exact subject. She has a slightly different (but related) perspective on this topic. She is a life coach, and for many years before that, she was a make-up artist for photo shoots. During that time, she’s had the chance to talk to hundreds, if not thousands, of people while they were in her chair.
After working in the industry for such a long time, she found that almost everyone she worked with had something they wanted her to cover up, or “fix.” Even professional models and actresses were self conscious of their looks and wished they looked differently. People were always focusing on the negatives.
In the video, she was talking about how she had realized how much people change the way they think about themselves from when they were little vs adulthood. This is something I had also realized, but never really put much thought into. Then she said something that totally opened my eyes.
She said, “Everyone is always looking to ‘fix’ what is wrong with them, but what if we were never broken to begin with?” Think about that for a second. What if there is actually nothing wrong with the way you look, because you are beautiful, just as you are? How different would that feel? Because that is the truth. You can stop obsessing about your eyebrows (talking to myself here), or the gap in your front teeth. Own whatever it is! That’s you – and it’s perfect.
The real standard of beautiful
What makes someone a beautiful person? Is it their perfect skin? Gorgeous hair? Perfectly manicured nails? Their full lips? Sure, those things are nice, but those things are only a fraction of what contributes to someone’s beauty. What makes someone beautiful is who they are as a person. Someone with a good heart, someone kind, someone caring. THAT is what is beautiful.
Here’s my challenge for everyone, myself included. The next time you look in the mirror, find 3 positive things (physical or not) that you find beautiful about yourself. Do not point out ANY negatives. Try and make this a habit. In order to feel more confident, we need to see ourselves as someone beautiful and strong. It starts with us.
If we see ourselves as beautiful, it will allow others to see us the same way. Your energy will change, and you will start to see what an effect this shift in your thinking could have in your life. All of the things we see when we look in the mirror, no one else sees them. Remember, you’re not broken, and you never were.
Looking for more advice to stay positive? Check out my post titled, “The power of a positive mindset.”
