Everyone has something they’re good at.  Some skill that comes naturally to them. Something others may struggle with.  For me, one of those things is gift giving. I’ve been told by more than one person on more than one occasion that I am an exceptional gift giver. It’s always something that comes pretty naturally to me and I never really put too much thought into it until people started mentioning it to me. After thinking about it for a little while, I guess there is a little bit of planning behind it, and a bit of a process to how I do it.

Anyone can go out and buy something pretty for someone; A new shirt, some jewelry, a candle. But to get a gift for someone that truly feels special and thoughtful is a whole other level of gift-giving.  Here are a few of my tips to help you become an amazing gift-giver:

1. Pay attention – This is a big one. This step requires a bit of effort, but it is where you will get the biggest payoff. Observe and listen. There are always little hints that people drop about things that they like or things that they want. You just have to be open to them. When you’re spending time with somebody, pay attention to something that they notice or mention. It could be a piece of clothing, a concert they’d like to go to, a magazine they really enjoy reading, etc. There are always a ton of ideas that you can gather simply from taking the time to pick up on the cues.
2. Honor the season of life they’re in – Think about who you’re buying for, and what they might need at this stage of their life. Are you buying for a college student studying for finals? Maybe a Starbucks gift card is the way to go. A little help to get caffeinated so they can stay up long hours and study. Are you buying for a busy mom? Chances are she’d love a gift that might make her life a little easier; like a membership to a grocery delivery service, a house cleaning to save her time so that she doesn’t have to do that for herself, or maybe a manicure or a pedicure or something where she can treat herself. (Especially if that is something she wouldn’t normally do). Are you buying for new grandparents? Maybe a coffee mug with the picture of their grandchild, or a personalized calendar of photos is the way to their heart. Are you buying for a retiree that loves woodworking? A class on wood working at the local community center it would be an amazing gift for them. Whatever you buy, always make sure it is appropriate for the recipient.
3. Price is irrelevant – When I say this, I don’t mean that you should spend your entire life savings on a gift for somebody – in fact, please don’t do that. What I am saying, though, is that it doesn’t matter if you get someone a gift that is $10 or $100, the value isn’t in the cost of the gift you purchase. The value comes from the emotion that it brings forward in the person receiving it. Gifts don’t have to be impressive, they should be personal and meaningful. By this token, spending $10 on a well thought out personal gift for someone could mean more to them than an expensive necklace or watch. Keep that in mind.
4. The gift should be something that they would love but wouldn’t buy for themselves – This is pretty self-explanatory, but a lot of times people just don’t treat themselves. Even though they see something that they want, they won’t spend the money on it, or take the time to do it for themselves, so it’s always good to try and find something that they would love that they wouldn’t necessarily buy for themselves.
5. People prefer experiences over things (most of the time) – This one is a little tricky. It is not the case 100% of the time, but I have found this to be true for many people. While gifting someone with a tangible item can be wonderful, (especially if it’s something they truly want), I love to give experiences when gifting. Several years ago, my sister and I had gotten tickets for our mother and step-dad to go see their favorite comedian. After they went, they called us and said it was the most fun they’d had in a long time, and told us how much they loved the gift. They still talk about it. Experiences hold so much weight because of the memories you are able to create during them. It almost makes it a two-for-one gift!
6. The gift is for them, not you – Let me say that again. The gift is for THEM, not YOU. Trying to get someone a gift that you think is good for them, is definitely NOT good for them. When you’re giving a gift, you are giving that person something that you know that they would want. You’re not trying to give them what you think they should have. For example, you’re not going to give someone a set of pots and pans if they don’t enjoy cooking. Maybe you do and you think, “Hmm…maybe if they have the right tools they will change their mind.” Wrong. Those pots & pans aren’t going to do it. They will return your gift for something they do want, and it will probably have nothing to do with the kitchen. The gift isn’t about you, it’s about them.

Gift giving doesn’t have to be hard. You just have to remember a few simple things and make sure to focus on the person receiving the gift and no one else. You want to make sure that the receiver feels like you really understand them and are seeing them.  Gifts that do both of these things will mean the most to them, bring the most joy, and they will enjoy & appreciate them more than many others that they receive.

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