A friend of mine, David, is a huge movie buff. He’s always suggesting movies for me to watch, asking what I thought of certain movies I’ve seen, quizzing me on all kinds of movie trivia that no normal person would know. Ha! I say this with love, of course. He honestly knows more about movies than anyone I’ve ever met. The history, the behind-the-scenes goings-on, the fun facts no one else would know. It’s always interesting when we talk about movies, and I always learn something, which is pretty cool.
To preface, he has a much different taste in movies than I do. Some of the movies he’s suggested I watch in the past, I have NOT been a fan of. So, when he told me I had to watch “The Perks of Being a Wallflower,” I was pretty hesitant. Reluctantly, I watched it, and I am SO happy I did.
The Premise
If you haven’t seen it, it’s about Charlie, a freshman in high school, who’s very much quiet and reserved. He is a shy freshman, whos is taken under the wing of two seniors that introduce him to the high school experience. One of the seniors, a girl named Sam, (who he is secretly in love with) has a boyfriend that for lack of a better explanation, treats her like crap. One day, Charlie asks his teacher why people stay in relationships with people that are such jerks. His teacher replies,
“We accept the love we think we deserve.”
Mic. Drop.
Once I heard this, my whole world was different. I don’t mean to be dramatic or anything, but I feel like that sentence had come to me at the exact time I needed to hear it. “We accept the love we think we deserve.” Think about that for a minute. Why is it that people stay in relationships where they are mistreated? They feel like that is what they deserve. It’s as simple as that.
How this applies to your life
Often times we try and complicate things. Relationships are complicated, don’t get me wrong. There are a million factors that go into two people building a relationship. Tons of things to consider when you are deciding to stay together, or go your separate ways. In my life, I definitely know of more than one example of a couple where one person isn’t being treated the way they should be by their significant other. I’m sure you know of someone as well. Someone that you think, “Why don’t they just leave them? Can’t they see they can do so much better than this?”
Sadly, the truth is, they can’t. The reason they choose to stay with that person, is because in their heart, they believe they deserve the relationship they have. They think there is no way they can make it on their own, or they won’t be able to find anyone better than the person they are currently with. From the outside, it’s easy to see that’s not the case, but it’s not enough for you to tell them they deserve better, they have to believe it for themselves.
This doesn’t just apply to relationships, though. This goes across the board. We accept any situation we feel we deserve. It’s why people stay in unfulfilled relationships and don’t leave jobs they hate for years and years. In your life, you are going to accept whatever it is you feel you deserve.
It’s a hard thing in life to accept the reality of your situation. It’s one thing to be unhappy in whatever situation you are currently in, but it’s completely another to believe you deserve better, and there is more out there for you. And let me tell you, if you are reading this, I’m here to tell you that you deserve the best. You are worth more than you’ll ever know, and you deserve to have whatever it is you want in life. You don’t have to stay in a relationship where you feel insecure, or stuck at a job that drains the life out of you. Want more for yourself, and know that you deserve more. I do.
