As a mom, you are constantly taking care of everyone else. All day, every day, it seems like people need something (or a million things) from you, and you spend your days killing yourself to get it all done. OK, first of all – HOW THE HELL DID THIS BECOME THE NORM?? And also, Why are we freaking doing this to ourselves? Do you think any one of those people that asked you for help throughout the day is giving how you feel a second thought? Probably not. That’s why YOU need to treat yourself like the badass you are.
Do you ever really stop to consider the way you treat yourself? As a mom, your focus is always on everyone else. There are little people that need things from you, constantly. You have your job, your husband, and all of your other responsibilities to worry about as well. So where do you fit into this equation? Are you making sure your needs are being met? Are you treating yourself the way you really deserve to be treated?
You have food and shelter, so of course your basic needs are being met. I’m talking about beyond that. How are you treating yourself? Are you being encouraging, or are you constantly beating yourself up? Do you know how strong you are, and are you aware of all the amazing things you accomplish on a daily basis, or do you feel like nothing you ever do is good enough? Are you strong in setting boundaries and limits, or are you always compromising to make others happy?
Think about these questions and be really honest with yourself. Are you really treating yourself well? Like, really well? Like, ‘let me move my cape out of the way while I sit here and eat this cookie’ well? If you’re not, then I have to tell you something that may hurt a little. How you treat yourself is how you are inviting the world to treat you.
It’s true. Think about it. Do you ever find yourself frustrated at work because your boss is always asking you to do extra work? Are you doing more than your share of housework? Do you seem to always be the one handling the planning when it comes to any type of get together with friends? Are your kids constantly relying on you to clean up their mess instead of doing it themselves?
Newsflash – all of these things are happening because you are allowing them to happen. I hate to say it, but the problem isn’t everyone else. It’s you. You shouldn’t be thinking, “I can’t believe my boss keeps asking me to do all of all this extra work.” You should be thinking, “Why do I keep agreeing to take on extra responsibilities and stress myself out?”
And don’t blame your kids for treating you as their personal maid, if you always pick up after them and don’t require them to do it themselves. Sorry to say, but it’s not their fault, it’s yours. I hate to be so harsh, but I really want you to see the reality of what you are allowing to happen in your life.
Your boss keeps asking, because you never say no. And your kids expect you to clean up everything because you always do. It’s as simple as that.
Listen, I have been there about a billion times. In fact, I still struggle with this. Whenever I get frustrated because I feel like I’ve been taken advantage of, I always have to remind myself – I allowed this, so what do I need to do in the future so that this doesn’t happen again.
I’m not saying that I don’t want you to compromise. Sure, there will be times when you have to put in a little extra effort in some area of your life. But it’s important to always make sure that you are not compromising the way you treat yourself in the process. Know your value. Know your worth. There is no one out there like you, and you should be proud and own that fact.
I know it can be hard to stand up for yourself, but it is perfectly OK to say no. You do not have to feel bad about not being everything to everyone. You’re only one person. When your kids’ school asks you to bake something for an event, but you know that means you’ll have to stay up until 1am to finish it, it’s OK to say no. They can always ask someone else that may have no problem fitting that into their schedule.
I want you to start to become aware of anyone in your life that you feel is treating you poorly. That may just be a reflection of how you’ve shown them that you should be treated. You may not have even realized that’s what you were doing, but the good news is, you have the ability to change it.
It’s going to be hard at first, especially if you are a people-pleaser, and always aim to be helpful. But it is completely OK to stand up for yourself, set boundaries, and still be a nice person.
People may seem a little surprised at first, but as long as you make your requests in a respectful way, you’re doing nothing wrong. Your well-being is more important than someone’s opinion of you.
Trust me, once you start treating yourself the way you should be treated, instead of the way you have been, other people will start to do the same. There’s nothing wrong with standing up for yourself. Treat yourself like the badass you are, mama! If you don’t do it, who else is going to?
